The future of Socialization

Socialization: The process through which people learn their culture's basic norms, values, beliefs, ad appropriate behaviors.

Throughout our lives, we have been bestowed with identities based on gender, race, size, and paths of communication. Nature has taught us how to eat from our mothers breasts, while nurture has taught us how to hide from prey or any other dangerous situations. A Call for Men, a video conference led by Tony Porter, is about the expectations men have to meet in life through living in a "man box". This box contains strength and pride, men are not supposed to cry or express intense feelings. In fact, they must pretend as if those things never occur, fore they are only things women experience.

He found himself living in this cycle when raising his son, and also realized that it was unhealthy. There is a lack of freedom when living under these expectations. When living in the land of the free and home of the brave, otherwise known as the United States of America, we are taught that women are to stay at home- tending to the needs of the household and the children, while men are out building a monetary empire for their families.

Women are a part of the empires men have built, but they are an essential part to it. Without man, there would not be woman and without woman, there would be no man. Unfortunately, in many societies, women have been objectified. In the video Killing Us Softly by Jean Killbourne, she explains how rather than being the subject, women have become the object. In advertisements, women are posed in vulnerable, sexual positions- almost childlike, because that is what sells. Sex sells. Women are not posed in powerful positions, unless race is involved. Killbourne also describes that with time, women are more prone to lack of self esteems and eating disorders because of how advertising companies portray the perfect woman.

The perfect woman must be thin and tall, and she must have no lines on her face, she must never adhere power, and she must remain quiet and docile. Killbourne promotes love and equality for men and women, of whatever cultures. She believes that advertising companies are to blame for the demeaning of sexuality for woman, which is actually true. There are advertisements that promote women saying "no" when they really mean "yes", essentially saying that women want to be overpowered- which in many instances, justifies rape. It leaves women in a position of remaining silent about sexual abuse. Women will remain in relationships that are unhealthy and negative for the persona.

A woman named Kelly Makino [The Retro Wife] was once all for being a working woman- she wanted her career, property, and family. Until she got older, she realized her true passion was to be a house mother. Her duty became to fend for her children and spouse, preparing her children for the world by teaching them equality, respect, and freedom. She loved her husband and made sure that when he arrived from a hard day's work, he would be catered to and loved. Throughout time this has become an agent of socialization, which involves the surrounding we grow up in that also take part in our development- they are expectations rather than actual definitions of the individual. All of which take their course during the life course perspective.

Kelly Makino put aside her career to take care of her family, and for many women, that is okay. But this should also always be a choice, not a decision that was made for her. These beliefs are usually instilled in children at a very early age; ie: the usage of guns for boys versus dolls for girls. Men are taught to be figures of power, while women are taught to be figures of nurture and docility. The reading Parent's Socialization of Children describes that the apparent differences in the upbringing of children come from different cultures and classism. Those who come from homes where the parents are intellectuals tend to have higher standards set for them, and these typically come from Asian cultures. Working families tend to not spend so much time with their children and have the eldest tending to their needs, and if not the eldest, the female. Children who come from homes where parents are attentive to their needs, tend to come up with more positive characteristics, and less codependency issues- that lead to self esteem issues, including eating disorders.

When living in a society where transportation, tuition, and wages are increasing in monetary value- it becomes hard for parents to really be involved in their child's life. And in any culture, having attentive parents is essential for growth. The above summarized videos and the readings lead oneself to believe that, although cultures may vary, the amount of nature and nurture one gives to people must be given equally to both men and women. For coexistence to succeed, one must truly coexist, without a feeling of dominance and weakness. 

Men are seen as powerful and being dominate towards woman.

We are exposed to advertisements that show dominance and inequality. Woman are seen as having no voice but being control over the gender of men.

As I recall, ever since I was old enough to cook and clean my mother would tell me to do so. At first I was okay with that but then when I notice she would not tell my brother to do his part but only me I was mad. One time I asked her why only me and her exact words were “ because you’re a girl”. Once I heard those words I could say I got mad and said “No”. She then told me that, that’s how she was raised that a man should not be in the kitchen cooking nor cleaning. Reading this chapter, readings, and most importantly the videos, just made me see that this doesn’t only happen in my family but throughout the world.  

Power:

When one of the 12 participants did not want to go to 150 volts, the professor said “it’s an experiment and it’s required”, the participant went along and went to 150 volts, this connects to the illegitimate power.

The participant did not want to disobey even though he did not really want to cause that much pain to the person but he still did it, basically he did not “obey willing”.

One of the woman were asking so many questions about the person who was receiving the volts, the professor assured her that the experiment had to go on and that she had to follow the rules.

The participants did not want to continue the experiment the professor behind them would speak to them and aware them that the experiment cannot stop, this is coerce he was forcing them to continue by pressuring them every time they would turn around and try to stop the experiment.

 Philip one of the 3 people who did not finish the experiment, once he heard the person who he was supposedly giving the electrical shocks to was screaming and saying “let me out of here” he stopped the experiment because he thought he was causing a lot of pain. This connects to Referent power, Philip did not know this man but he still had respect for him to not cause any more pain.

5 main points in reading:

Marginalization is very more often to happen by someone being a different race. Discrimination as in the chapter connects with Marginalization because people are being treated not as equal to everyone else due to their race. In the reading powerlessness basically are the people who have power and those who do not. The people just take orders from the ones who do have power. Just as the commoners they can live in the land of the nobles but can never own their own land. Indoctrinating the oppressed people by making them seem themselves as low as the other people see them. In which they start to become silent by their own choice. This is legitimate power they willing accepted to be silent. Violence happens to destroy a person and harm them. Just as coerce force is being taking place and harming someone to force them to do something.

The video and the reading connect in a very interesting way. First I can say that some terms in chapter 5 explain well the actions that the 12 participants took in the video. For example when one of the participants wanted to stop the experiment the professor was pressuring him not to which we can say that in chapter 5 it is known as persuade. Also in the reading the example that was given about the salves when they were told so much and seen themselves as “negative images” they later did not speak but choose to be silent which in the chapter is known as legitimate power.

       Power is something I wanted when I was little. I remember when I was younger and during the whole year of 2001 when my father caught a stroke I felt useless. I recall always wanting to speak up and say something towards my dad’s side of the family, the ones who will treat my mother, brother and I bad. There were times in which I clearly remember I did not want to be sleeping every day in different houses of my extended family members but yet my aunt would always pressure me in doing so. While reading chapter 5 I can relate that coerce and illegitimate power did occur within my life. She will pressure me to do things I did not want to do, like fighting with people. I can also say that illegitimate power took place by be having to follow her orders in which I never wanted to listen to in the first place. When she will tell me that i have to miss school for two months it was her order but yet I wanted to attend school but because he told me I had to obey her order. I can say my father’s sister had power at the time and even though it gets me still mad till this day I have to say I did not have an inch of power or voice to speak up for myself.